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How to say No

This is well known - the moment one talks about learning to say No - the most common road is 'assertiveness' skills.

However, by and large assertiveness is not the issue. The issue is something else. The issue is that there is no greater yes that enables your no. The greater yes is the assertion that you need to say no, not the assertiveness as a skill.

This was an old realization for me (nothing original - well researched, consultants know this, salespeople practice this and negotiators swear by it), but it came back while working on a short project. 

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