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Family? No, please

I have always been uncomfortable with the descriptor of a "family" when it comes to work. A few years ago, we were at an offsite and the guest speaker, who shall go unnamed said, "It feels so good to be here. Feels like a family."

Really? 

"Feels like a family" is the most vacuous word you can use, especially when you are meeting 400 people for the first (and likely last) time in your life. 

Ever since then I have heard this being said by many people in many organizations. And guess doesnt actually say it, yes, The family. 

A family is a collection of individuals related by blood or genetics or legal association (to begin with) and a strong emotional bonding or attachment. Yes, there are people who may not be related by blood or genetics or legal association and you may yet share a deep emotional bonding. And there will be people in that family you absolutely hate - and they are family as well. 

What is the difference between a family and an organization? Organizations expect you to perform. Families hope you perform. Your immediate will walk on fire to help you succeed. The organization (by and large) expects you to walk on fire to ensure the organization to succeed. Organizations may have to lay people off. Families usually dont. Yes, in some cases (way lower than layoff percentages), legal ties are severed. People usually dont hunt families like they hunt job for organizations. You get the picture. 

Now this is not a rant against the evil corporation or a paean to the lovey dovey family. 

It is perfectly ok for organizations to not be like family or claim to be like family. Because it is not. The social contract that ties you to an organization is nothing like the social contract that binds to a family. Sure, you may end up making some great friends and bond very well emotionally and it may feel like family, but lets be clear it is not the same thing. There may be 1% of organizations where you might actually treated as family, but 99% of organizations are not family. 

So the next time, you are surrounded by a set of people and you feel warm and fuzzy - as usually happens when a big project is wrapped up or a big order is closed or a funding round is closed and you feel like saying, "This feels like family"; please resist the temptation to do so. It just isnt. Tomorrow something will go wrong and half the family could be laid off. And nobody is going to feel very familial about it. 

Besides, it does sound vacuous. 

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