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Fly on the wall

Recently, I was a fly on the wall on a couple of discussions by a gathering of LnD associates. Yes, I admit, it was a boring event, but instead of feeling bored, I switched roles to that of someone who observes dispassionately, and here is what I gathered (this is tongue in cheek of course)

1. LnD people run the business. They do more than the business teams, founders, top level leaders and everybody else. Without them, there would be savages and philistines running the company.
2. Lnd people are therapists, counsellors, coaches, psychologists and conscience keepers rolled into one. It is a pity they are paid the salary of one person only.
3. LnD people believe they know everything. Including and not limited to the "Theory of everything". Just that nobody asked them. Else, the Nobels would have been ours people - seemed to be a collective feeling.
4. Any more navel gazing, and they would be Buddhas with the luminosity of their high salaries as the halo around their head.
5. They cant believe that their great meal (Michelin star ratings learning equivalents top rated) of trainings is being left untouched by the masses. The masses must be wrong the talking heads say. They always are, arent they? They dont get it. They dont have evolved tastes - those Netflix chomping, Whatsapp gazing masses.
6. LnD people know the future of work so well, they have been discussing this for 15 years now. And yet online courses remain the same bland thing you saw when Windows3.11 was running on computers. They whined that the rest of the organization isnt seeing the future.
7. Despite using Blockchain and paying with Bitcoin, the training experiences are poor, they lamented
8. But they are sure that ML and AI with a spot of AR and VR will solve all their problems, exactly the same way Microlearning and 702010 did 3 and 7 years ago respectively
9. These consultants are ohsobad, they said - and we can never get good consultants despite paying by the hour and dollars at that.
10. They buy the best content, but it is never good enough - sigh.
11. They all read the same books, if at all they do (and it is a very narrow set of them, if you have any doubts. The same TED talk gang that keeps referring each other in their books)
12. They research a lot, by typing keywords into Google - but nowadays quality of Google output is also poor it seems
13. 30 years, later, they are still figuring out the ROI of training. This must be the longest unsolved problem on earth just after the Theory of everything.
14. Gamification is the next new old big thing - apparently everything has to have accompanying badges and stars. They nodded.
15. Blended is the way to go. Phygital. Microlearning - everybody was sure.
16. What about right brain they ask the left brainers. And the opposite question to the others. They themselves are circular brains. This alone deserved the Ignobel.

My potential recruiters and potential clients, if you are reading this, please judge me on this and I will guarantee you better answers than this. 
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